OK, so I am going to try to type this like it is easy and not life-changingly horrible at all. My Mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Well actually, the dementia specialist said that Alzheimer's can never be confirmed until autopsy but as it progresses, you can rule out other things such as vascular dementia. But according to the dementia specialist, our original diagnosis of vascular dementia (from Mom's Primary Care Physician) was, instead, probably Alzheimer's. She says all signs point towards it. How did we get here? I really need to know. This disease is the one disease my Mom has been afraid of her whole life so why would God allow her to get it?

About a year ago, I noticed major memory problems in my Mom, to the point I kept asking my Dad about it. Finally, he asked me to quit asking him things because I was making him paranoid. Hmmm. I wondered if my OCD would allow me to quit asking? I didn't have to find out because my oldest brother, who lives overseas as a Missionary, came in and he and his family were alarmed at my Mom's behavior. Of course, my Dad listened to him because he isn't an "hysterical female". Whatever, Dad. Anyway, Dad took Mom to their Primary Care Doc (who is very reputable so I trusted him) and evidently the Dr. asked Mom some questions and talked with her and what-not and told my Dad she was fine. I was really relieved, even though at the pit of my stomach I had a nagging feeling that wasn't the end of it. Plus, I had a new Grandson that I was devoting every spare minute to (my choice entirely) and I guess I had tunnel vision when it came to him. I get to babysit for him every other week while his parents work and my daughter's mother-in-law watches him the other week. And on my off weeks, I am constantly looking for a reason to babysit or for him to spend the night, etc. To say I was totally absorbed in my grandson would be a complete understatement.

So Mom is starting Alzheimer's medications i.e. Aricept and Namenda. These two medications are supposed to slow it down. We shall see...........

I'm Just Sayin............

Hello everyone -

Thought I would get something off my chest once and for all. Recently, a blogging friend of mine was blasted (and blasted is an understatement) for a video she showed of her children. She was very excited to show us the video because it involved her oldest child (a 19 month old toddler) mimicking her mother at work. The mother is a pediatric physical therapist and frequently takes her children to work with her because they are both adopted and she likes to take them to work with her as often as she can. Since she owns the place, she is totally within her rights to do this but on this particular day, she was amazed at what her daughter had caught on to at work, as she should have been. The toddler was rolling over her 5 month old sister in the way that my phyical therapist friend teaches parents to do with a baby that may be delayed for whatever reason and the video was just a short little "proud parent" thing that we, as her readers, LOVE to see because even though none of us have ever met in person, we feel like we have known each other for years. And when our friend was blessed enough to adopt not one, but two precious children we could all feel the happiness and the love literally coming through the computer during her posts.

So evidently one reader took the video out of context in a way that makes no sense to me and accused my friend of child abuse and some very hurtful things. I only tell this story to say this: blogging is a neat way to meet and develop new friendships so if you don't like a particular person, or their blog, then why not just skip reading it and don't post things that are so incredibly hurtful and untrue? I haven't ran across many people who like to cause the type of drama we all left behind at high school, so if you are one of those "drama" people, and have the audacity to say mean things publicly, then have the balls to sign your real name and email address instead of making up fictitious information to get your mean thoughts posted and then run and hide when someone tries to take up for theirself. I hope the person in question here stumbles upon my blog and will maybe re-think their intentions the next time.

To the rest of the 99.9% of you that are the shiny, happy people (as the B-52's would say) - keep on keepin on and I would love to hear from YOU!

Til next time,
Susan

First of 2009

Nothing like waiting until the 3rd month of a new year before you write your first blog entry, huh? So I am wondering how to even begin - I think I am going to start blogging like a journal because there are a bunch of things going on that I don't necessarily want to "talk" about so maybe I will just write about them instead. I think I need some sort of outlet so I don't lose my mind......

First of all, the worst thing.....I am almost certain that my mom is suffering from some form of dementia; I pray it is not Alzheimer's. There are so many feelings that come from making a statement like that and believe me, I have been in denial for the past 6 - 8 months but it has become undeniable. Does anyone out there know of anyone who suffers from this very frightening and sad illness? I noticed some memory problems last summer and asked my father about it several times but he told me to quit asking him because I was making him paranoid. Hmmmm.....I guess I know where I developed my denial habits, huh? My dad did, however, talk to the doctor and the doctor administered some sort of screening tests that my mom passed with flying colors. That is what gives me hope that it isn't Alzheimer's. She is also not defensive or angry like I have read about Alzheimer's patients. She doesn't insist that nothing is wrong and she voluntarily stopped driving. Part of me feels guilty because if you have read my blog at all, then you know that I am absolutely totally and completely in love with my grandson, who is 19 months old. I feel like if I hadn't devoted all my spare time to my grandson I would have picked up on my mom a little quicker. About 3 weeks ago, it hit me like a ton of bricks when I actually spent some time at her house instead of running in and out and I noticed notes in my dad's handwriting everywhere telling her how to turn the oven on, and how to use the remote, etc. To say I was shocked is a complete understatement. So I have stopped crying - at least for now - and am trying to come up with a plan of action without scaring my mom to death. All my life she has been terrified of dementia - even going so far as to tell me that if she ever developed dementia to just put her in a home because she didn't want anyone to see her like that. So I have to figure out a way to get her to sign whatever document gives her doctor permission to talk to me about her and start from there. Wish me luck.........

In addition to that, my youngest stepson, who lived with us has decided that he can't live here under our rules. You know, the horribly strict ones that require him to be able to pass a drug test in order to keep his car or that he must get a job since he is 19 years old, and also that he needed to quit stealing money out of my purse. He didn't come to live with us until he was of legal age (14 to be exact) but he did spend alot of time with us before that so I am trying to figure out where in the world we went wrong. So he has gone to live with his girlfriend who has an apartment with her friend and he has no job - wonder how long she will put up with that?

I think that is all I have the energy to write right now.....I watch my grandson two days one week and 3 the next but this week has been all week because his other grandmother (my daughter's mother-in-law) that alternates watching him with me is helping her mother this week because she just underwent a double mastectomy. Tucker (my grandson) is a wonderful distraction for everything bad but I am really tired!

If you stopped by then please leave a comment, I would love to know who (if anyone) is reading!!!

Til next time.......